Njengoba amaholide esikole esondela, abanye abazali bahlela ukuthumela izingane zabo ekamu lobuholi, ekamu lama-scout, noma kolunye uhlelo lokuhlala. Kuyinto enhle kakhulu ekuthuthukisweni kobuntu bomntwana kanye nekusasa lakhe. Kodwa... uma ucabanga ngokuthumela ingane yakho kude izinsuku ezimbalwa, uzizwa wesaba futhi ukhathazekile kancane, akunjalo? "Ingabe ingane yami izoba yodwa lapho? Ingabe izongena enkingeni? Ingabe izokhumbula ikhaya futhi ikhale?" Imibuzo efana nale cishe igijima engqondweni yakho. Empeleni lokhu kuyinto abazali abaningi abayizwayo.
Lokhu kwesaba kuyinto evamile hhayi kuwe kuphela, kodwa nakumntwana!
Kalula nje, ukukhathazeka kuyisimo sengqondo esivamile kakhulu kubazali nasezinganeni lapho kufanele bahlukaniswe nezingane zabo ngale ndlela. Kodwa lokhu kukhathazeka kungafika ngezindlela eziningi. Ake sibheke izinhlobo eziyinhloko.
| Uhlobo Lokukhathazeka | Kalula nje... |
|---|---|
| Ukukhathazeka Ngokuhlukana | Lokhu kuyinto evame kakhulu. Ukwesaba nokudabuka ingane kanye nabazali abakuzwayo ngokuba kude nabazali babo abanothando nabavikelayo kanye nekhaya labo. |
| Ukukhathazeka Komphakathi | Ukwesaba ngokweqile ukubhekana nesimo esisha senhlalo, njengokuthi "Ingabe ezinye izingane zizongikhipha inyumbazane?", "Bazocabangani abanye uma bengibona?", "Ingabe ngeke ngikwazi ukwenza abangane abasha?" |
| Ukukhathazeka Okujwayelekile | Yilapho wesaba khona yonke into ngokungadingekile, ikakhulukazi ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi kukhona okubi okuzokwenzeka. Uyakhathazeka, ucabanga ngezinto ezinjengokuthi "Ingabe ngizolimala ekamu?", "Ingabe kukhona okukhulu okuzokwenzeka?" |
Indlela ukwesaba kwakho okuthinta ngayo ingane yakho
Enye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu lapha ukuthi ukukhathazeka kungangena emindenini. Okusho ukuthi, uma abazali bekhathazekile, nezingane zizokuzwa nakho . Izingane ziyakwazi kakhulu ukukopisha izindlela zokuziphatha zabazali bazo, ukubukeka kobuso, kanye nezindlela zokukhuluma.
Cabanga nje, uma uyoshiya ingane yakho ekamu, ukhala izinyembezi emehlweni akho, bese uthi, "Qaphela, ndodana/ndodakazi... Uma kwenzeka noma yini, ngishayele ucingo ngokushesha...", hlobo luni lomuzwa ozoba nawo lowo mntwana? Uzoqala nokucabanga, "Uma umama/ubaba esaba kangaka, kumelwe ukuba yindawo eyingozi." Ngakho-ke, ukwesaba kwakho kudluliselwa enganeni ngaphandle kokuthi uqaphele. Ngezinye izikhathi, abazali bakhathazeka kakhulu kunomntwana.
Eqinisweni, inselele enkulu lapha ukulawula ukukhathazeka kwabazali kunokwengane.
Ngakho-ke ulwenza kanjani lolu hambo lube olujabulisayo kini nobabili?
Kulungile, ake sibone ukuthi yini ongayenza ukuze ubhekane nalesi simo. Lokhu kuzokusiza wena nengane yakho.
1. Khuluma ngezixazululo, hhayi ukwesaba
Uma ukhuluma nengane yakho, esikhundleni sokuyisongela ngokuthi, “Qaphela, uzoshiswa yilanga,” zama ukuxazulula inkinga ngendlela eyakhayo. Buza ingane yakho ukuthi, “Ilanga lingaba nzima kancane ekamu. Pho singazivikela kanjani kulo?” Bese bethi, “Ngizogqoka isigqoko,” noma “Ngeke ngibe selangeni isikhathi eside.” Ungabe usuthi, “Leyo imibono emihle. Kodwa futhi kungumqondo omuhle ukusebenzisa umuthi wokuvikela ilanga . Manje njengoba usukhulile, ungakhumbula ukuwusebenzisa nsuku zonke.” Lokhu kuzokwakha ukuzethemba kwengane yakho.
2. Yiba nombono ofanele.
Njengomzali, kuyinto evamile ukwesaba ukuphepha kwengane yakho. Kodwa sidinga ukuqonda iqiniso. Ekamu elihlelwe kahle, amathuba okuba ingane ithole ingozi enkulu aphansi kakhulu . Yebo, imihuzuko emincane nokulimala kungenzeka. Kodwa izinto ezinjalo ziyenzeka nasempilweni evamile. Ungesabi ngokungadingekile ngokucabanga ngezinto ezimbi njengokuthi "Ingabe othile uzongithatha ingane yami?". Chaza leli qiniso enganeni yakho futhi. Cishe yonke ingane ibuya ekhaya ngemva kwalokhu okuhlangenwe nakho ijabule futhi inento entsha empilweni yayo.
3. Gcina ukuvalelisa kufushane futhi kumnandi.
Uma uya koshiya ingane yakho ekamu, gcina ukuvalelisa kufushane ngangokunokwenzeka. Uma umanga ingane yakho, ukhala, futhi uvalelisa ngendlela edabukisayo, kuzokwenza ingane izizwe idabuke kakhulu. Ingase izizwe sengathi yenze iphutha elikhulu ngokukushiya. Ngakho-ke, momotheka, khuthaza ingane yakho, bese ushiya ngokushesha, uthi, "Hamba uyozijabulisa!" Ngemva kokuhamba , ingane yakho izojoyina ezinye izingane ngemizuzu embalwa, ikhohlwe konke, bese iqala ukudlala.
4. Ingabe unikeza izinto ezikukhumbuza ikhaya? Cabanga kabili.
Kwabanye abantwana, ukuphatha okuthile okubakhumbuza ekhaya, njengesithombe somndeni noma inothi elincane olibhalile, kungabasiza bazizwe bengcono. Kodwa-ke, kwabanye abantwana, lezi zinto zingabenza bazizwe bekhumbula ekhaya futhi bedabukile kakhulu. Ngakho-ke, lokhu kuyinto okudingeka uyinqumele ingane yakho. Uyazi kahle ingane yakho. Uma ucabanga ukuthi into efana naleyo izoyikhuthaza, yinike yona. Kodwa uma ucabanga ukuthi izobenza bazizwe bedabukile kakhulu, kungcono ungabaniki izinto ezinjalo.
Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kuyithuba elibalulekile empilweni yengane yakho lokwakha ukuzimela, ukuzethemba, kanye nekhono lokubhekana nezinselele. Ungamncishi ingane yakho lelo thuba ngenxa yokwesaba nokukhathazeka kwakho.
Umlayezo Wokuya Nawe Ekhaya
- Kuvamile ukuthi abazali nezingane bazizwe besaba futhi bekhathazekile lapho bethumela ingane yabo ekamu. Lokhu sikubiza ngokuthi ukukhathazeka ngokwehlukana .
- Ungabonisi ingane yakho ukwesaba kwakho, hlala unethemba. Ingane yakho izohlala ibheka kuwe njengesibonelo.
- Khuluma nengane yakho ngezixazululo, hhayi izinkinga. Mnike imithwalo yemfanelo futhi umethembe.
- Gcina ukuvalelisa kufushane ngangokunokwenzeka. Ukuvalelisa okude nokudabukisayo kwandisa usizi nokwesaba kwengane.
- Lokhu okuhlangenwe nakho kuyithuba elihle lokwakha ukuzethemba kwengane yakho kanye nokuzimela. Kuvumele futhi ukukhuthaze.
- Uma lokhu kukhathazeka kukuthinta wena noma ingane yakho ngendlela engenakulawuleka, ungabi namahloni futhi ukhulume nodokotela wakho ukuze akunike iseluleko.
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