Ungaqaphela ukuba umntwana wakho ukhathazekile kwaye udandathekile ngezinye iintsuku. Kuqhelekile ukuba buhlungu usuku olunye okanye ezimbini ngenxa yento efana nale, njengokucaphuka kumhlobo, ukuba novavanyo oluzayo... Phantse wonke umntwana udlula kwezi meko. Kodwa ukuba olu sizi kunye noxinzelelo aluzange luphele kangangeeveki, ukuba luchaphazela imisebenzi yemihla ngemihla yomntwana kunye nobomi besikolo, isenokuba yinto ekufuneka siyixhalabele kancinci. Njengomzali, uyayiqonda loo mahluko kakuhle. Ukuba uziva entliziyweni yakho ukuba "kukho into etshintshileyo ngomntwana wam, kwaye ayizukuphela," kufuneka sithethe ngayo.
Ngaba nabantwana abancinci bayachaphazeleka kukuxinezeleka?
Ewe, ngokuqinisekileyo. Sasicinga ukuba ukudakumba yinto echaphazela abantu abadala kuphela. Kodwa ngoku oogqirha kunye neengcali bayayamkela into yokuba abantwana abasaqalayo esikolweni kwanabantwana abakwiminyaka yesikolo banokuba nesifo esibizwa ngokuba kukudakumba .
Ngamafutshane, ukudakumba akubobuthathaka okanye into yokucinga. Yimeko eyenzeka kubantu abadala nakubantwana ngenxa yotshintsho lweekhemikhali engqondweni. Ngamanye amaxesha inokuba notyekelo lwemfuza. Oko kukuthi, ayibangelwanga yimpazamo yomntu. Cinga ngayo, abanye abantwana banamandla amangalisayo omculo nobugcisa besebancinci, akunjalo? Ngokufanayo, abanye abantwana banokuba notyekelo lwemfuza oluncinci lokujongana neemeko ezifana nokudakumba.
Yintoni ubudlelwane phakathi koxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo?
Eli linqaku elibaluleke kakhulu. Ingakumbi ebantwaneni, kukho unxibelelwano oluqinileyo phakathi koxinzelelo kunye noxinzelelo . Amaxesha amaninzi, iingxaki zoxinzelelo ziqala kuqala. Kamva, njengoko umntwana efikelela ebusheni, olu xinzelelo lunokukhula lube luxinzelelo.
Ngoko ke, ukuba umntwana uhlala esoyika kwaye exhalabile, yimpazamo enkulu ukungakunaki oko, uthi, "Kwakunjalo xa wayesemncinci, kuya kulunga xa ekhula." Olu xhala luhlala luhleli lunokuba nefuthe elibi engqondweni yomntwana.
Kukho iintlobo ezahlukeneyo zeengxaki zokuxhalaba ezixhaphakileyo ebantwaneni:
- Ukukhathazeka Ngokuhlukana: Le yeyona ngxaki ixhaphakileyo yokuxhalaba ebantwaneni. Aba bantwana banoloyiko olukhulu lokuhlukaniswa nosapho lwabo, ingakumbi umama notata wabo. Banoloyiko olufana nolu, "Ngaba umama uza kungena engxakini ngaphandle kwam?", "Ngaba kukho into enokwenzeka kum esikolweni?". Ngenxa yesi sizathu, banokuba neentlungu zesisu kunye neentloko ezibuhlungu ngeentsuku zesikolo.
- Uloyiko lokuhlala nabantu : Aba bantwana baziva bengakhululekanga kakhulu kwiimeko zentlalo, ingakumbi esikolweni. Nangona bethetha kakuhle nabazali babo ekhaya, bayoyika ukuthetha nabantu abangabaziyo, ootitshala, okanye abanye abantwana. Ngamanye amaxesha bahlala bethule ngokupheleleyo.
- Ingxaki Yokuxhalaba Okuqhelekileyo: Aba bantwana baxhalaba kakhulu nangokungeyomfuneko ngekamva. Cinga ngako njengomntwana webanga lesithathu oxhalabela umsebenzi wakhe waseyunivesithi. Endaweni yokuba bonwabe aze athi, "Ndifake amagoli amabini kumdlalo webhola ekhatywayo namhlanje," banokuthi, "Kodwa ndixhalabile ngovavanyo lopelo ngomso."
Ngaba umntwana wam unesifo sokudakumba? - Lumka kwezi mpawu
Njengomzali, umazi kakuhle umntwana wakho. Lumka xa kukho utshintsho kwindlela aziphethe ngayo umntwana wakho nakwimikhwa yakhe. Ukuba umntwana wakho unempawu enye okanye ezingaphezulu kwezi zilandelayo ixesha elide (ngaphezulu kweeveki ezimbini), kubalulekile ukufuna ingcebiso kagqirha .
| Uphawu | Ingcaciso elula |
|---|---|
| Ndihlala ndiziva ndilusizi, ndilila | Bayacaphuka nazizinto ezincinci, basoloko bekhala, baze bajonge phantsi. |
| Indalo edanileyo | Bathi izinto ezinje, "Akukho nto ihamba kakuhle," "Andinakukwenza oku." |
| Ukungayithandi into obukade uyithanda | Umntwana owayesakuthanda ukudlala, ukuzoba nokubukela iTV ngoku akabonakalisi mdla kwezo zinto. Ukungakwazi ukufumana ulonwabo. |
| Ukudinwa rhoqo, ukungabi namandla | Ndivakalelwa kukuba andinamandla okwenza nantoni na, ndisoloko ndilivila, kwaye ndizama ukuhlala ebhedini. |
| Ukuzihlukanisa nabantu, ukuba wedwa | Ukhetha ukuhlala wedwa egumbini lakho nangona unethuba lokudlala nabahlobo. |
| Ukungazithembi, ukuziva unetyala | Bacinga baze bathethe izinto ezinje, "Andinamsebenzi," "Akukho mntu undithandayo," kunye "Yonke into yimpazamo yam." |
| Ukuba nomsindo, ukucaphuka | Bakhawuleza bacaphuke ngezinto ezincinci, baqale iingxabano, baze baziphathe ngendlela engafanelekanga. |
| Iimpawu zomzimba | Badla ngokuthi izinto ezifana nokuthi “Ndinentlungu yesisu” kunye nokuthi “Ndinentloko ebuhlungu” ngaphandle kwesizathu sezonyango. |
| Iingxaki zesikolo | Ukungafuni ukuya esikolweni, ukungabikho esikolweni, ukungayi esikolweni, kunye namanqaku aphantsi. |
| Utshintsho ekutyeni nasekulaleni | Ukulahlekelwa okanye ukwanda kokutya ngequbuliso, ukungalali ngokwaneleyo okanye ukulala kakhulu. |
| Ukucinga ngokuzenzakalisa | Ukuba uthetha okanye ucinga ngokuzibulala, cinga oku njengengxamiseko kwaye ufune ingcebiso yezonyango ngokukhawuleza. |
Ukuba unamathandabuzo, thetha nogqirha ngaloo nto. Abazali abalungileyo bayalubona utshintsho ebantwaneni babo, kodwa abasoloko besazi ukuba bathetha ukuthini. Yiloo nto oogqirha abayenzayo.
Eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka yenziwe kuqala: Ukuxilongwa ngokuchanekileyo
Ngaphambi kokuba uqalise unyango lomntwana wakho, eyona nto ibalulekileyo ekufuneka uyenze kukufumana uxilongo oluchanekileyo . Ngamanye amaxesha iimpawu esizibonayo zisenokungabi luxinzelelo ngokwalo. Ngoko ke, buza ugqirha wakho okanye ugqirha wengqondo ngokucacileyo, "Iyintoni imeko yomntwana wam? Yichaze ngendlela endinokuyiqonda. Ziziphi iindlela zonyango?"
Abazali abaninzi baya kuqala kugqirha wabantwana . Kulungile. Angenza uvavanyo lokuqala aze, ukuba kuyimfuneko, akuthumele kwingcali, njengogqirha wengqondo yabantwana.
Iphathwa njani?
Unyango luyinzame yokusebenzisana phakathi kwabazali, umntwana, kunye nogqirha. Kunzima ukuhamba kolu hambo ngaphandle kwenkxaso yabazali. Iindlela zonyango zinokwahlulwa zibe ziindidi ezimbini eziphambili:
1. Unyango lwengqondo : Oku kubizwa ngokuba yingcebiso. Apha, umntwana ufundiswa izakhono zokumelana neengxaki ukuqonda iimvakalelo zakhe, ukuzilawula, nokujongana neengxaki. Abazali nabo kufuneka bathathe inxaxheba koku.
2. Amayeza: Kwezinye iimeko, ingakumbi ukuba uxinzelelo luphezulu, ugqirha angakunika amayeza okudakumba.
Khumbula, amayeza ayisiyiyo into yomlingo. Akulunganga ukucinga ukuba "ibhotile yeyeza inokunyanga yonke into." Iziphumo eziphumelelayo kakhulu zifumaneka xa unyango lwengqondo, kwaye ukuba kuyimfuneko, amayeza edityaniswa.
Musa ukukhathazeka ngemiphumo emibi yamayeza. Kukhuselekile ukunika umntwana wakho amayeza axilongiweyo kwaye amiselwe ngugqirha ofanelekileyo, phantsi kweliso lakhe. Ukungawasebenzisi amayeza nako kunemiphumo emibi - oko kukuthi, umntwana uya kuqhubeka egula.
Ngaba konke ukudakumba kukudandatheka? - Ukudana okubangelwa ziingxaki zobomi
Oku kubalulekile ukuba sikuqonde. Asikuko konke ukudakumba, konke ukuxhalaba kukudandatheka. Abanye abantwana babuhlungu ngenxa yeengxaki zokwenyani ebomini babo.
Khawucinge nje, umntwana unokuba lusizi aze adinwe ngenxa yezinto ezifana nokulwa kwabazali, iingxaki zemali zosapho, ukuxhatshazwa esikolweni, kunye nokungaphumli ngenxa yezifundo ezigqithisileyo. Le meko siyibiza ngokuba kukudakumba . Le yindlela eqhelekileyo yokuphendula ubunzima ebomini. Ngamaxesha anje, kubaluleke ngaphezu kokunika umntwana amayeza okutshintsha imeko-bume yengxaki kunye nokuxhasa umntwana.
Umyalezo Wokuya Ekhaya
- Ukuba intlungu okanye ixhala lomntwana alipheli kwiintsuku ezimbalwa okanye iveki okanye ezimbini, xhalaba.
- Ukudakumba kunye nokuxhalaba nako kunokuchaphazela abantwana abancinci. Yimeko ebangelwa kukutshintsha kweekhemikhali engqondweni, kwaye ayilotyala lomntwana okanye labazali.
- Uloyiko oluhlala luhleli kunye nokuxhalaba kunokuba luphawu lomngcipheko wokufumana uxinzelelo kwixesha elizayo.
- Ukuba ubona utshintsho olucacileyo kwindlela umntwana wakho aziphethe ngayo nakwimikhwa yakhe (ukutya, ukulala, umsebenzi wesikolo, ubudlelwane nabantu), musa ukulutyeshela.
- Ngaphambi kokuba naluphi na unyango, kubalulekile ukufumana uxilongo oluchanekileyo kugqirha ofanelekileyo.
- Unyango luyintsebenziswano phakathi kwabazali, umntwana, kunye nogqirha. Vulela ugqirha wakho ngayo yonke into kwaye ulandele imiyalelo yakhe.
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